In life, there are friends, and then there are friends.
In the first place, the friend is someone you relate to easily, have fun with, and enjoy their company. For a time, it is easy, uncomplicated, and for the most part… shallow.
When I say friend with italics, I am speaking of a totally different type of relationship. I am talking about a real and true well wisher.
A real well wisher tells you the truth, even when it isn’t easy. A real well wisher doesn’t just care about you — they will also sacrifice for you. They will go to the mat for you. In fact, they will carry your banner high and go into battle for you, and with you. Real well wishers are the loyal ones who stand by your side when all the shallow players have left the field.
Who are the shallow players? The ones who exhibit parasitic behaviors (the needy-greedy ones where it is all a one way street), the ones who will pamper you with false words to butter you up, in order to ultimately manipulate, control, or dominate. The ones who are addicted to drama, and expect you to clean up the mess.
They’re easy to spot, right?
Sometimes not. And here is where it gets tricky. We have become such a culture of pamperers, of truth-avoiders, of political correctnesses and fake smiles — that we ourselves might crave that pampering. We may want so badly to hear that we are good, valued, important, and special that we trade our deep knowing for the “quick fix” of shallow, hollow words. Because they pacify. Because they are perceived as a fast acting balm for a burning heart, a cool stream of water on a flaming wound.
But in the deep waters of the soul, we are not fooled.
When we indulge in this kind of falsity, we are trading more than our dignity. We are literally lowering our own consciousness. We are essentially making the statement, “I prefer sweetened lies to glaring truth. I prefer to be manipulated and controlled, instead of facing into the difficulty and challenge of standing on my own. I would rather not see the situation clearly because it’s… complicated.”
You know what’s really complicated? When we don’t have the courage we need to be honest with ourselves. You know what drags our energy down into a hole? Falsity and pampering. You know what really and truly turns life into a misery?
Accepting shallow waters as if they were the deep blue at the bottom of the ocean.